Let’s talk about “frape” Sunday, Mar 17 2013 

Okay.  I’ll try to explain how I feel when a casual attitude toward rape is exhibited.  This includes “frape”, “trape” and other casual references & jokes about rape.

Most people would agree that rape is horrible & wrong.  I’m not trying to make everyone out to be monsters who think that rape is okay.  It’s become so common today, however, to “frape” or “trape” someone or to “rape” them in a game.  These are casual references to rape and people laugh at it because no one’s actually getting hurt.

They don’t realise it does hurt someone.  It hurts victims of rape.  Every, single time.

Rape is not funny.  Not at all.  If you’ve been raped, you need not read further because you know how I feel.  You have my deepest, deepest sympathy.  I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but the guy who did it to me.

Imagine.  Imagine how awful it would feel to be raped.  A friend waited until you were alone and in one minute, your whole life changed.  All power was taken away from you.  You were hurt physically.  You were hurt much, much deeper emotionally.

Now imagine, having experienced such a horrific, life-changing event, that you see people saying, “Omg, dude, we raped the shit out of them,” when they actually mean that they beat the other team in a game.  Or you see people laughing about their friends “fraping” them when they actually mean that their friend wrote something funny on Facebook pretending to be them.

It brings you back to those horrible feelings of when you were raped.  You feel shamed, dirty, helpless and angry all over again.  Every time.

If you think that you can’t use an alternative word/phrase because no one would understand what you meant, you’re lazy and insensitive.  Did anyone have to explain to you what they meant the first time you saw someone say, “Haha! Fraped,” on someone’s Facebook status?  Chances are, you understood what happened without explanation.

Be creative.  Come up with another word.  “Fhacking” maybe?  You can be creative & have fun with it.  I’m not trying to be a party-pooper.  I’m not trying to be an over-dramatic bitch.  I’m just trying to help you understand how hurtful it is when you say these things.  Please stop saying them.  Please encourage your friends/followers to do the same.

Thank you.


Edited to include a link for further reading.

The careless language of sexual violence


Something I’m really excited about Friday, May 11 2012 

Firstly, I know… I know… I’m an awful blogger. I haven’t updated in about a year. Really I thought I was going to abandon this blog, but I typed up an email to my mum just now & thought it was worth sharing with the whole Internet.
Here’s the email in its entirety.

Hey Mum,
I just found this really cool project called Class Realm on Kickstarter. Kickstarter is a website that helps people raise funding to make their project ideas a reality. Class Realm turns classroom learning into a game. With interest in role-playing games spreading like wildfire, this is such a cool idea! It’ll help kids engage & make their education feel relevant rather than something that adults who care nothing about them are forcing on them because the law requires it.
I’m sure you know it’s the end of Teacher Appreciation Week. On Twitter, the only people saying good things about their teachers were adults. School-aged kids were being your typical brats. Some of them may have a point, though. They were saying that their teachers don’t listen to them & don’t care about them. They were also saying that school is so boring. Kids had the same attitudes when I was in school. Why do they find it boring? In my opinion, it’s because the material doesn’t feel remotely relevant to them. I remember a few classes that students really enjoyed & those were classes where the teacher was kind & passionate; they clearly cared about the students & they listened & interacted with them rather than just lecturing at them. They also made the material relevant to the kids. They made it applicable to our lives (at the moment… not “this will help you in the future”) & interesting. School-aged children are young. They haven’t been around long enough to really understand or care about the future. The NOW is what’s important. So what’s relevant & exciting now? Games. Almost everyone plays games. Almost everyone has an Xbox, PS3, or a Wii at home. Role-playing games (RPGs) are one of the most popular types of games. Almost everyone enjoys stepping into the role of a hero that shapes the world around them. RPGs activate the imagination & boost the ego. People want to feel good about themselves. When they’re able to kill all the bad guys & save the kingdom, they feel amazing! It makes so much sense to bring this type of game-play into the classroom. Stretch kids’ imaginations… make their learning feel relevant to them now, but also know that it will help them in the future (shh keep that part a secret :P)… make them feel good about themselves & the role they’ve played in their education. I think this project is amazing & really think it should be picked up by teachers everywhere.

Wow I didn’t sit down with the intent to write that much. Really I was just going to send you a link & say, “Cool! Look!” But this is a lot more exciting than that. Hope you can pass it around & help the project see reality. When it becomes a reality (and I know it will because it’s so awesome), I hope they will use it in their classrooms to get kids excited about learning again. Here’s the link: ClassRealm

I hope you guys will share my enthusiasm for this project. If you’re as excited as I am, please pass it around. This is one of the coolest things I’ve seen in years.

Edit:  I’m a noob.  Link has been fixt.  🙂