Okay.  I’ll try to explain how I feel when a casual attitude toward rape is exhibited.  This includes “frape”, “trape” and other casual references & jokes about rape.

Most people would agree that rape is horrible & wrong.  I’m not trying to make everyone out to be monsters who think that rape is okay.  It’s become so common today, however, to “frape” or “trape” someone or to “rape” them in a game.  These are casual references to rape and people laugh at it because no one’s actually getting hurt.

They don’t realise it does hurt someone.  It hurts victims of rape.  Every, single time.

Rape is not funny.  Not at all.  If you’ve been raped, you need not read further because you know how I feel.  You have my deepest, deepest sympathy.  I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but the guy who did it to me.

Imagine.  Imagine how awful it would feel to be raped.  A friend waited until you were alone and in one minute, your whole life changed.  All power was taken away from you.  You were hurt physically.  You were hurt much, much deeper emotionally.

Now imagine, having experienced such a horrific, life-changing event, that you see people saying, “Omg, dude, we raped the shit out of them,” when they actually mean that they beat the other team in a game.  Or you see people laughing about their friends “fraping” them when they actually mean that their friend wrote something funny on Facebook pretending to be them.

It brings you back to those horrible feelings of when you were raped.  You feel shamed, dirty, helpless and angry all over again.  Every time.

If you think that you can’t use an alternative word/phrase because no one would understand what you meant, you’re lazy and insensitive.  Did anyone have to explain to you what they meant the first time you saw someone say, “Haha! Fraped,” on someone’s Facebook status?  Chances are, you understood what happened without explanation.

Be creative.  Come up with another word.  “Fhacking” maybe?  You can be creative & have fun with it.  I’m not trying to be a party-pooper.  I’m not trying to be an over-dramatic bitch.  I’m just trying to help you understand how hurtful it is when you say these things.  Please stop saying them.  Please encourage your friends/followers to do the same.

Thank you.


Edited to include a link for further reading.

The careless language of sexual violence